This morning on the way to work, the cab driver was listening to love ballads of the ‘80s and ‘90s, and it made me very nostalgic for when Tati and I shared a room and slept on the red IKEA bunk bed and listened to 97.1 Greatest Love Songs with Glenn Hollis before we went to sleep. We used to love the dedications and declarations of love when people called in. Glenn had such a soothing voice. Hard to believe more than 15 years have gone by since those days.

I was g-chatting with Katherine (AKA Polish Creep) a few days ago and she informed me about a few things. Apparently, chocolate is not good for cats and I should be put in jail for animal abuse. This is unfortunate news for the cat, who, I’ve discovered, is a fan of Nutella as well as NesQuick. Poor little cat has tasted heaven only to have it ripped away from within its grasp. It will now forever follow me around hoping for another taste of deliciousness and will always be left disappointed. But disappointed is better than dead, and Katherine made me feel a little guilty about being a potential cat murderer. Being the cruel person that I am, I’ve taken to spinning around with that cat in my arms and then putting it down and watching it walk around like it’s drunk. Does this make me a really horrible person that I delight in the cat’s dizziness? It just looks so cute stumbling around. If it was really scared or hated me, I think it would run away every time I approached, but it still follows me around. Maybe it enjoys being spun around.

In other Panama City observations, there are these police officers who go around on bikes. They wear these little shorts and have very voluptuous booties, probably because they spend a lot of time in front of the empanada shop where I used to get breakfast back when I used to live by the Marriott. I guess empanadas are to Panamanian cops what donuts are to American cops. Sometimes I get very strong impulses to just reach out and give one of them a friendly squeeze, kind of like I used to have an urge to pull the fire alarm at school every time I passed it. But then I think to myself, what would I do afterwards? That would be kind of awkward and a very embarrassing thing to go to jail for if the cop found it offensive. When Tati was here, we tried ssssing back to a security guard, but then I think he liked it and followed us for a little bit so that taught me that lesson. Sometimes you just get annoyed with all the sssing, but then again, if no one ssssed me, I would be very sad and would think I was very ugly or something.

I think the time has come to start being friendly and making friends, for real this time though. Also, I think the time has come to volunteer somewhere because that is the right thing to do and my life right now is composed of mostly neutral actions, so I think volunteering would add a little goodness and make be a better person…